Continuing along the lines of "what is spiritual abuse??" I take you to my next major church experience in Pensacola, Florida where my husband and I moved shortly after we were married.
While there, we were just beginning to experience the throes of being newlyweds, both coming from rather dysfunctional homes. It wasn't fun. Communication breakdowns abounded. We sought help from an older, married gentleman at our new church who offered to counsel us in marriage.
Over the course of several counseling sessions, this man made several sexual overtures toward me. Once when we were discussing our sex life with him, he made the comment that if he were my husband, he would know just what to do with me. There was another instance where he made some hand motions at me that were inappropriate.
Looking back, I can laugh at these things because I trust myself now. I know now that no one is going to control me or do things to me that I don't want them to. I know now that I was not in any real danger and that his sexual overtures were his problem, not mine.
But at the time, as a young married woman, I was scared. What he did was abusive. It was using a position of authority and influence to threaten me.
Having told those stories, and obviously having told my story about Milestone, I'd like to say that I have been in some very healthy churches that were not at all controlling or abusive. I've had some awesome pastors. I've had some personality conflicts with some of them but never anything really out of line.
One of the things that happens with victims of spiritual abuse is they tend to chuck ALL churches and dismiss ALL Christians as bad people. I did this also but now I'm past that point. I can appreciate all the healthy people I've been around and the caring environments I've experienced.
I have to remind myself that no place is all bad. I learned some really valuable things at Milestone. I found parts of myself although I lost others. God is at work in the Earth. I am hoping that He will make all things right in His own good time. I'm hoping that where repentance and humility is needed, He will bring that about. I hope the light continues to shine into dark places and expose what needs to be exposed. I wait for that day with baited breath.
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